How to Find Joy in the Chaos: A Real-Life Reminder to Stay Present
When you hear the word “serendipity”, what exactly comes to mind? Chance? Happenstance? Magic? Or perhaps a word that somehow embodies the magical joy of the unexplainable?
Our family recently had a beautifully chaotic week. A cross-country move. A wedding. A military graduation. And all in just ten days. Sounds overwhelming, right? I thought so too. But in the middle of it all, something unexpected happened—joy. Real, deep, present joy. I wanted to share my perspective so that the next time you encounter a chaotic season of life, you can experience the same joy!
The Perspective Shift
I believe that you often ‘see’ what you are looking for. You look for stress, the impossibility of completing tasks, believing it's all ‘too much’ and perhaps you need to slow your roll and be more methodical - then in fact all of that will be true. Moreover, you will likely feel more stress than you ever imagined and you will see your ‘cup half full’ as the pessimist or negotiating mindset might comment.
What if instead you just paused. That’s it. Just take a breath, maybe three. What if you walked out in the grass barefoot and told yourself you know what universe – I am in the present, whatever shall be, shall be and then came in and got to work. What do you suppose would happen?
Well I have to say, I watched the above magically unfold. You see, our kids (my stepson and his fiancée) had a chance to embrace (or tackle depending on your mindset) a few of life’s stressors in all of a matter of days! No joke. They managed to move several states away, get married, he graduated from Marine Officer Candidate School, and threw some friends and family together just to spice it up. You know what – I bet they would tell you it wasn’t serendipitous but rather PERFECT.
Why Presence Changes Everything
I have to admit when I looked at the calendar and knew that we had ten days or less to move, pull off an intimate marriage ceremony, commemorate, and gather to celebrate the first completed step in the United States Armed Forces plan, I wasn’t sure we could pull it off. I did indeed take a few steps in the grass to ground and say this is NOT my plan but I will surely do what I can to support our kids in one of the most exciting times in their lives. The ‘kids’ as I refer to them (my stepson and his now wife) were up for the challenge, in fact they were giddy — and they had no qualms - this is the plan, we are committed and it will happen. Well you can’t argue with that.
There were so many reasons to stress: the rush, the planning, the absence of some family. But instead of letting that steal the joy, they chose to lean in.
In previous months you may have heard me exclaim excitement for their engagement, and my own joy for listening to my soon to be daughter in law plan and explain the wedding she had always envisioned. And guess what, many of the adults in the kids’ lives, myself probably included, seemed to nay say their ideas. It got to be a big wedding, later in the year, perhaps over the holidays, the costs kept climbing, and it got to be that voices were louder than the kids. And you know what – when time crept up, and the chance for the kids to live together, to be married, to celebrate his graduation and to be surrounded by family and friends - it went off without a hitch! Okay so maybe I needed a little more sleep and the critic would say what happened to all the ‘could be, would be, planning so that it could be a ‘traditional’ wedding.
You know what I say to that —- PHOOEY!
Sure, they may have ‘another’ wedding, they may not. Of course they were saddened that the rush to exchange vows meant that family and friends could not be there in such a short amount of time, and you know what - the kids embraced it! These covid surviving, college attending, socially networkers (online) - hosted an event for the cracker jack family that is never in the same room, to attend; and it was as lovely as you’d imagine.
It’s all a matter of perspective. I, for one, vowed to see what the kids saw (and recalled): a celebration to be honored and a marked moment in time as they set out on the next steps (remembering that a strong marriage and foundation is more important than the actual planning of a wedding)
Looking back at the pictures and videos of the most jubilant weekend for the kids, I could not be more proud or love them more. The sweet embraces, the pure joy of being husband and wife, the celebration (delayed) because of military schedules was perfect for them. They embraced each moment and day and rode the wave of exhilaration. They tuned out the ‘adults’ who looked to improve, say what if, etc…..and you know what - they are right. Look for the joy and the excitement and you will make the impossible possible.
For those of us in a season of change—empty nesting, career shifts, caregiving—it’s easy to focus on what’s missing or not working. But what if we practiced pausing, breathing, and looking for serendipity in the everyday? The truth is, mindset matters more than we think.
A Loving Reminder for the Season You’re In
Whether you’re planning a wedding, moving a child to college, or just trying to keep up with your own expectations, remember this: look for the good. It’s there. And sometimes, when you least expect it, life gives you exactly what you need—no grand plan required.
